


The Best Supernatural Fanfiction

by SamChan, Snapsizboucrzy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Pie, it's on purpose though, shitty - Freeform, these don't make sense, they are terrible stories, we apologize in advance, we are so sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-03-18 09:02:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3563927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamChan/pseuds/SamChan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snapsizboucrzy/pseuds/Snapsizboucrzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone laughs when they read really terrible fanfiction, and we were no exception. So we thought we would try our hand at it. To clarify, this is purposely shitty. Each chapter is going to be a new story with a new plot. </p><p>We hope you enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pi Day

**Author's Note:**

> Dean loves pie. Well, it's Pi day and Castiel doesn't understand that reference.
> 
> It is really hard to write terrible fanfiction on purpose.  
> \- snapsizboucrzy

Castiel awoke on the fourteenth of March, quite excited. IT WAS A SATURDAY.

Dean awoke that same day, feeling far more excited. Not because it was Saturday but because it was Pi Day. A day of nonstop eating of pie. Dean padded down to the kitchen and started in on a big old cherry pie. Castiel stumbled in when Dean was about halfway through his third one. "Too much pie." Dean muttered.

Castiel smiled as he leaned over the table, "I'll take some of that."

A sly smile crept across Dean's face as he had the greatest idea to ever exist. Dean moved closer to Castiel and "accidentally" dropped some of the gooey cherry pie onto the crotch of Castiel's plaid pajama pants. "Whoopsie daysies." Dean exclaimed as he lowered his head towards Castiel's pants. Dean's tongue darted out to lick off the sticky mess. Pie made Dean act unusual.

"Dean, wait! I'll just take them off." Castiel exclaimed. No sooner than the words left his mouth did Castiel jump up back and strip off his pants. This is the moment when Dean learned that Castiel didn't wear any underpants. 

"HOLY SHIT CAS! You have a monster cock."

"Dean, I -" 

"Cas, you have the most beautiful dick I have ever seen. Uh wait. Not that I have seen a lot of dicks or anything seeing as I am a 100% straight male, with no homosexual thoughts or tendencies whatsoever."

"Why are you acting so strange? And what's with all the pie?" 

Sam stuck his head around the corner, "It's Pi day Cas. The mathematical symbol for figuring out the circumference of circles. It's 3.141592653 and so on and so on. Which if you bothered to look at a calendar - today is 3-14-15. Normally Dean eats lots of pie on this day, but it seems he is going for a new record. Last year I had to take him to a bar to find some chick to bang seeing as pie always makes him hornier than a rhino. Speaking of horns, where are your pants Cas?" 

Castiel looked down and suddenly felt uncomfortable. "Uhm, Dean spilled some pie on them." 

Sam laughed, "Uh oh. Looks like we won't be taking Dean to a bar this year. Looks like he has you."  Castiel blushed, and Sam left without another word. He turned around to find Dean just finishing off the pie, totally oblivious to the conversation that just transpired. Castiel thought for a moment and thought why not.

He strode over to the table, pushed Dean's chair back and got on his knees. "I'm going to unzip your jeans slowly, then I'm going to put your rock hard cock in my mouth and take you all the way to heaven." Dean just stared blankly at Castiel. "Not literally of course. Dean, I'm sorry if that talk makes you uncomfortable. I heard it from a movie Sam was watching the other night and thought I would try it out on you." 

Dean could barely control his laughter. "Cas, get off the floor. I don't need you to do that. Let me show you what I really want to do." 

Dean took Castiel by the hand and lead him to a door all the way at the end of the hall. While still holding Castiel's hand, Dean pulled out a key and unlocked the door. "You ready baby?"

Castiel nodded nervously, and Dean pushed open the door revealing the world's largest collection of legos. 

 


	2. Our Pumpkin Harvest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas had a hard year with little to no harvest. However, the two can surely make it up with the time they share. 
> 
> Like my co-writer explained, this is supposed to be real silly and shitty. So please, do not take anything to heart!
> 
> -SamChan

The day was chilly and the sun was beaming brightly down onto the small pumpkin patch on a farm. Two figures could be seen cutting up the vines and gathering what pumpkins they had left for selling. Dean and Cas worked hard, all through the morning and until night each day, but it still didn't stop the drought coming and taking away nearly every dime they had. Dean would get so frustrated and often talked about getting a job in the cit where they would atleast have enough money for food on the table. Cas however, didn't like the idea of him being so far away from home and did what he could to sway Dean's anger.

Cas was bent down and sifting through the little patch of gourds he had planted at the begining of the season. Some orange and white in a variety of different sizes. Most of them were dead at this point, but there were still a few he could use to sell. His blue eyes trailed to the dry ground and up to the man who was picking up what was left of their crop and tossing them into the back of green pick up truck. The way the sweat rippled down his back and into the back of his jeans made Cas' mouth dry. 

Dean turned around and wiped his forehead with gloved hand and blinked. He stared at Cas for a moment and looked away, the way that gardening hat shaded his face was almost too much to bare. "If you don't hurry Cas, we won't get this done....like last night" he grinned a little, trying to keep his inner demons to himself and not wanting to give into temptation. 

Cas sighed and picked up some more gourds and held one in one hand and another in the other. The one on the left was white with a thick neck, reminding him almost of Dean's perfect dick and the other was a curved orange with little bumps on the bottom side. A sly smile came to his face as he looked back up at Dean who just continued to work. 

"But last night we had so much...fun" Cas replied after taking a moment of silence. 

Dropping the white gourd he walked up to Dean and used the orange gourd to gently rub up against his slick back and down to his ass. Rubbing it gently. He could feel Dean stiffen under the touch, but just continued to work. Cas saw this as an opportunity and grabbed a hold of Dean's shoulder and made him look at Cas. Their eyes met and time seemed to stop. 

"What are you doing?" Dean whispered, feeling the front of his pants grow tight with need. 

"The harvest can wait, the only pumpkin I want is right here" Cas smiled and kissed Dean's lips passionately. 

Dean could no longer control himself and grabbed hold of Cas, kissing the small man until his lip hurt. Slowly Dean reached down and picked Cas up by the ass and started to carry him back to the farmhouse they called home. "A small break couldn't hurt....besides...I have some ideas for that gourd in your hand" he said with a grin and ripped off Cas' floppy gardening hat just as they walked over the threshold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also not proud of this.


End file.
